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Cheyenne River Lakota Sioux Tribe Reservation in South Dakota

The Tapping Solution Foundation visited the Cheyenne River Lakota Sioux Tribe Reservation in South Dakota

The Tapping Solution Foundation joined the Hawkwing organization in this endeavor, which is a group of people committed to making a difference with a very neglected and impoverished population. The Cheyenne River Lakota Reservation is the poorest county in the United States with limited healthcare, a life expectancy of only age 48, 85% unemployment and an average annual income per person of only $2,926, according to the Hawkwing Foundation.

Dr. Maria Ortner provided EFT Tapping resources to the Reservation as part of a medical mission to support the Takini School (Grades K to 12th)  Dr. Ortner and the others from the medical mission worked with students, parents, teachers, and community members during a week-long stay. The level of trauma in this community was high, including different layers of trauma such as historic, generational, family, and personal.

If you want to know more, please go to www.hawkwing.org and be part of helping our fellow Native Americans.

For more information on The Tapping Solution Foundation, a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization, and on how you too can implement Tapping in your schools, contact us at info@tappingsolutionfoundation.org.

Visiting the Lakota Paint Ranch with team members and the owner of the ranch, Raymond Usem. This ranch is one of the few in the country that has wild horses.

 

We visited Takini School. Mrs. Kit Veit gave us a warm welcome and was delighted with our visit.

 

Dr. Ortner tapping with students in a first-grade class.

 

Ms. Judith Higgins is a first-grade teacher who taps herself but now she was very excited to have the tools to introduce tapping to her students.

 

 

 

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Middle School Anxiety: From Overwhelm to Empowerment

This post contains excerpts from The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

 

Mark’s Story: From Overwhelm to Empowerment

Mark, 11 years old, had been struggling with social anxiety for years. Diagnosed with Kabuki Syndrome (a rare multisystem disorder) he often felt overwhelmed by large groups, including family and people he already knew. Historically, he’d also had a difficult time adjusting to new social situations. For years his default coping mechanism had been to shut down. Once that happened, it typically took a long time for him to return to normal functioning.

Hoping to ease his intense anxiety, his mother, Rose, had introduced him to Tapping in the last years of elementary school. Thankfully, Mark had responded positively. Each time they used it, he was able to release his anxiety and relax into whatever he was doing.

One evening, Rose took Mark and her older son to a friend’s house for dinner. Her friend had two children of her own, and Rose was hoping that Mark would be willing to play with them. When they arrived, he did join the group.

Before long, however, the two older boys began making a point of excluding Mark from their game. Mark’s usual response to that type of situation was to yell, scream and cry. Often he would get so worked up that he’d begin hitting himself. Once that happened, it would take hours before he could be calm again.

This time, however, Mark quietly came upstairs to find Rose, tapped her on the arm and whispered in her ear that he was feeling frustrated and wanted to go do some Tapping in the bathroom. Thrilled at his request, Rose jumped up and followed him. Once in the bathroom where no one could see, they started Tapping using statements like, “Even though they’re leaving me out of the game, I’m a really cool kid and I’m okay!”

After a few rounds, Mark was noticeably calmer. His body relaxed, his fists weren’t clenched anymore and he was smiling. He looked at Rose and told her he felt ready to go back and play with the other kids. He gave her a big hug and a high five coupled with an excited, “Thanks, Mom!” Everyone had a great time for the rest of the evening.

 

Learning How to Take Control

For years, Rose had been unsure whether Mark would ever be able to regulate his own emotions. Seeing him take charge of the situation and seek Rose out to do Tapping when he needed it was more progress than she’d dared to hope for.

As exciting as that evening was, though, it’s not the end of the story. In addition to social gatherings, Tapping also became an important part of Mark’s school experience. Thanks to Tapping, in fact, Mark successfully started attending a middle school with over 1,600 kids. This was huge progress compared to 4th and 5th grades, when he’d often come home from school crying, overwhelmed by frustration about homework, how much he hated school and how “stupid” he felt he was.

On the days when Mark was willing, he and Rose would do some Tapping, with Rose doing the Tapping on the points for him. As often as possible, Rose made a point of using Mark’s words, which were often phrases like, “Even though I can’t do this stupid homework, I’m a really cool kid and I’m okay!” Moving through the other Tapping points, they might then say, “This stupid homework… I can’t do this stupid homework… homework is stupid… I’m stupid… I hate homework.”

Nearly every time, Mark’s entire body would relax after a few rounds. They would then take a deep breath together and she’d ask him how he felt. After another round or two, they’d finish with one final round of positive Tapping, using phrasing like: “I’m a smart kid… I can do this… homework isn’t so bad… I’ll finish my homework easily.”

Easily able to focus, Mark would then complete his homework. Rose was always amazed by, and incredibly grateful for, their brief moments of Tapping together.

Now that he was in a massive middle school, Mark had also made great progress with the support of his special education team. When we last emailed, in fact, Mark had asked Rose to teach Tapping to his new teacher. Determined to support him in every possible way, Rose was in the process of setting up a meeting to discuss it.

This is one of my favorite stories, not just because of the results Mark has with Tapping, but also because of how much Tapping empowers him to take control of his anxiety and his experience with other kids. Over time, as he continues to use Tapping, he will continue to realize the power he has over his own experience.

That’s a lesson every child, with or without Kabuki Syndrome, can use to thrive in every area of life.

 

Child Tapping: Overcoming Social Anxiety

If your child is struggling with anxiety, Tapping will promote self-regulating behaviors that can lead to successful social interactions and academic learning. Let’s look at how to use Tapping with your child on their anxiety disorder.

Note: As always, when Tapping with your child, tailor your words to your child’s age and experience.

 

You can find these tapping diagrams, along with many other free resources, by visiting our collection of parent and teacher items here.

It’s best to tap on specific situations or scenarios, so choose a social situation or scenario that your child can imagine or remember.

Next, ask your child to rate how anxious—or icky, nervous etc.—they feel when they think of it, either on a scale of 0 to 10 or by extending their arms wide apart, showing their anxiety on a “this much” scale (use this if your child is not yet able to understand the concept of a 0 to 10 scale). They can hold their arms far apart to show a larger number, or “very” nervous, or hands closer together to show “less” nervous.

Then begin Tapping:

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I feel nervous when I think about <situation here>, I’m great!

Eyebrow: So nervous/anxious
Side of Eye: I don’t like feeling this way
Under Eye: Makes my stomach feel queasy
Under Nose: I don’t like it
Under Mouth: What if they make fun of me?
Collarbone: Why can’t we play together?
Under Arm: So nervous
Top of Head: That’s okay

Eyebrow: I’m great!
Side of Eye: And everything’s okay
Under Eye: I’m my own person!
Under Nose: I don’t need to worry
Under Mouth: I’m awesome!
Collarbone: People like me
Under Arm: I can be who I want to be
Top of Head: Because I’m great!

Eyebrow: I can have fun
Side of Eye: I can feel good
Under Eye: I can do what I want
Under Nose: And everything’s okay
Under Mouth: I can feel happy inside now
Collarbone: I can feel calm inside now
Under Arm: I can make new friends and get along
Top of Head: Everything’s okay

Again have them rate their anxiety on a scale of 0 to 10, or using the “this much” method of measurement. Keep Tapping until they get the desired relief.

 

Can I use Tapping for…?

In The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers  you can learn how Tapping can be used for many of your child’s needs, such as attentiveness, impulsivity, social concerns, and MANY more!

Whether your child, or student, is dealing with common social issues, school-related anxiety, or a specific diagnosis, this book will support you in understanding your role and providing specific tools to encourage success and lifelong achievement.

The best part is that with every purchase of this book, 100% of the proceeds, in perpetuity, will be donated to The Tapping Solution Foundation to continue bringing free EFT Tapping resources to schools and families, and providing trauma relief around the world.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

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Tapping into Your Child’s Depression: Shedding “The Blues”

This post contains excerpts from The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

 

Tapping with your Child: Depression

Children are often moody, cycling easily in and out of “the blues.” But what happens when feeling “the blues,” or even constant moodiness, becomes the norm for your child?

Depression manifests in children in different ways, but often includes a significant change, or several changes, in behavior. For instance, your once outgoing child might suddenly have no interest in playing with friends, or your physically active child may start sleeping all the time or become lethargic and irritable.

Once depression takes hold, it can quickly shift into a downward cycle that is hard to disrupt. As one example, let’s say your child starts feeling depressed and begins sleeping more. As a result she spends less time with friends, who feel rejected by her, and eventually stop inviting her along. That, in turn, makes your child feel unloved, which then adds to her depression—and just like that, the cycle self-perpetuates.

To make matters worse, just when your child most needs your love and support, s/he feels too depressed to voice his/her needs and desires.

 

Is My Child Depressed?

Recognizing depression in children isn’t always easy. While there are different kinds of depression, and a long list of relevant symptoms, depression is generally defined as more than being “down in the dumps.”

Sadness is often mistaken for depression, but sadness is a healthy, although unpleasant, emotional response to experiences. While sadness can lead to depressive behavior and may even last for longer periods of time, it’s a definitive emotional response to something or someone.

Unlike sadness, depression is often characterized by emotional numbness, as well as apathy, low energy and chronic moodiness.

Teenagers in particular commonly experience periods where they withdraw and may not seem like their “normal” selves. While these changes in mood and behavior can turn into long-term depression, they can also be phases that pass or smooth out naturally within a period of days or perhaps a couple of weeks.

Unlike grief, PTSD, and other challenging but normal responses to events and circumstances, depression often seems like an ongoing case of “the blues” that doesn’t have a clear cause.

While depression has been linked to the brain, it’s important also to remember that the brain is neuroplastic, meaning that it’s capable of transforming. Tapping, as well as physical exercise, wholesome nutrition, improved sleep and other positive habits support positive changes in the brain and body.

Tapping is a great way to help your child get his/her emotions and energy moving again. Before we look at how to use Tapping with a depressed child, however, we’ll begin with Tapping on the stress and worry you may feel as a result of your child’s depression.

Adult Tapping: Releasing Stress around Your Child’s Depression

Watching your child suffer with depression is painful and frustrating for parents, who want nothing more than to resolve their child’s pain and hopelessness. Before you try Tapping with your child on his/her depression, it’s important to tap on your own emotions first.

To start, notice which emotion(s) you feel most intensely when you think about your child’s depression—fear, anxiety, anger, shame? Focus on your primary emotion and give it a number of intensity on a scale of 0 to 10.

I’ll focus on fear and anxiety, but as always, focus your Tapping on your experience.

Take a deep breath, and begin by Tapping 3 times on the Karate Chop point.

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I’m so scared and anxious about my child’s depression, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: S/he is so depressed
Side of Eye: It’s so painful to watch
Under Eye: I’m so afraid for him/her
Under Nose: So anxious about his/her depression
Under Mouth: I need to fix this
Collarbone: But I’m not sure how
Under Arm: I don’t know if s/he will let me help
Top of Head: I’m so scared

Eyebrow: So anxious
Side of Eye: I feel so hopeless
Under Eye: I need to be able to fix this
Under Nose: I need to do something to help
Under Mouth: All this fear
Collarbone: All this anxiety
Under Arm: His/her depression
Top of Head: It’s overwhelming

Eyebrow: It’s okay to feel this way
Side of Eye: I can trust this process
Under Eye: I can relax even though things don’t seem okay right now
Under Nose: I can trust this process
Under Mouth: It’s safe to feel safe
Collarbone: It’s safe to relax now
Under Arm: Letting go of this fear and anxiety now
Top of Head: Feeling relaxed and at peace now

Take a deep breath. How intense is your primary emotion now? Keep Tapping until you get the desired relief.

 

 

You can find these tapping diagrams, along with many other free resources, by visiting our collection of parent and teacher items here.

 

Is My Child’s Depression My Fault?

Many loving, caring parents wonder if they’re to blame for their child’s depression. The answer is no. Depression isn’t something you wanted for your child, and not something for which you should blame yourself.

Since awareness is critical to the treatment process, it is important to know that, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, children of depressed parents are at higher risk for depression themselves. That doesn’t mean that you’re at fault, however. Instead, it’s a reason to notice any depressive tendencies, as well as persistent changes in mood and/or behavior, in yourself as well as your child.

Depression can be challenging, but it is treatable. Recognizing that your child may be suffering from depression is a huge step forward. If you yourself have suffered or currently are suffering from depression, be sure to use Tapping on your own, as well.

Now that you’ve had an experience, let’s look at some of the ways that you can use Tapping to support your child in overcoming his/her depression.

Note: As always, when Tapping with your child, tailor your words to your child’s age and experience.

 

Child/Teenager Tapping: Shedding “The Blues”

If your child is suffering from “the blues,” s/he may seem disengaged, no longer interested in the people, places and activities that once energized her/him. Tapping can help to reignite your child’s spark, and also to give him/her insight into the deeper emotions that may be (dis)coloring his/her inner and outer worlds.

If your child is willing, have him/her rate how “blue” or “blah” s/he is feeling, either on a 0 to 10 scale or using the “this much” method of measurement.

Take a deep breath and begin by Tapping 3 times on the Karate Chop point.

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though nothing feels good anymore, I love myself and accept how I feel.

Eyebrow: This darkness
Side of Eye: Nothing feels good anymore
Under Eye: Things are so bleak
Under Nose: Nothing feels worthwhile anymore
Under Mouth: All this darkness
Collarbone: It’s too much
Under Arm: This darkness
Top of Head: I can’t escape it

Eyebrow: This darkness
Side of Eye: I can’t shed it
Under Eye: It’s overwhelming
Under Nose: This darkness
Under Mouth: I feel it everywhere
Collarbone: It won’t go away
Under Arm: What’s this darkness really about?
Top of Head: Why won’t this darkness go away?

Eyebrow: It’s safe to feel this darkness
Side of Eye: And it’s safe to let it fade away
Under Eye: I can see what’s beneath it
Under Nose: It’s safe to feel what’s there
Under Mouth: It’s safe to see and feel it all
Collarbone: It feels big
Under Arm: But it’s not bigger than I am
Top of Head: It’s safe to let this darkness fade away now

Take a deep breath together. Check back in with your child on how intense the “blah” feels now. Keep Tapping until s/he gets the desired relief.

Can I use Tapping for…?

In The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers  you can learn how Tapping can be used for many of your child’s needs, such as attentiveness, impulsivity, social concerns, and MANY more!

Whether your child, or student, is dealing with common social issues, school-related anxiety, or a specific diagnosis, this book will support you in understanding your role and providing specific tools to encourage success and lifelong achievement.

The best part is that with every purchase of this book, 100% of the proceeds, in perpetuity, will be donated to The Tapping Solution Foundation to continue bringing free EFT Tapping resources to schools and families, and providing trauma relief around the world.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

 

Depression can be a complex condition, and recovery is often an ongoing process. As often as s/he is willing, tap with your child on his/her emotions, experience and behavior. As always, if your child’s depression persists or worsens, seek out professional support. For a list of certified EFT professionals, visit http://thetappingsolution.com/eft-practitioners/ 

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Children & Teens Manage Anxiety with Tapping

This post contains excerpts from The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

 

Tapping with your Child: Anxiety Disorders

Ryan had been struggling academically and socially since starting his second year of middle school. Noticing his distress, and an avid “tapper” herself, his mother asked if he’d be willing to tap with her one day. Although reluctant, he eventually agreed to try it.

While Tapping, Ryan shared that several kids had been teasing him during lunchtime. They tapped through how that teasing made him feel, and then again on some of the times when he’d felt ostracized. After several rounds, he relaxed noticeably.

In the days that followed, his mom noticed that he was coming home from school in a much better mood.

Over the following weeks, Ryan and his mom continued to tap together. As those weeks turned into months, his grades improved. He also found several “lunch buddies” at school. All of it together changed his entire experience at school.

This story is such a great example of how powerful Tapping is at alleviating the intense social pressures children often face at school, pressures which can be particularly intense once they reach middle school. Thanks to the Tapping he did with his mom, Ryan no longer dreaded going to school. In fact, he began to thrive on all levels. What a difference!

Thanks to Tapping, many people find that anxiety disorders are easier to manage. Regular Tapping can lead to reduced medication, improved confidence and a better ability to adjust to new and different situations.

Before we look at using Tapping on your child’s anxiety disorder, let’s do some Tapping first on your experience.

 

Adult Tapping: Releasing Anxiety about Your Child’s Disorder

When your child has an anxiety disorder, you may find yourself needing to be hypervigilant, always anticipating challenging situations. That additional effort, however important, can cause you to feel extra stress. Let’s do some Tapping now on letting go of that stress so you can be more present when you tap with your child.

To begin, imagine a situation that is likely to cause your child’s anxiety to magnify. Does that cause you to feel anxious, full of dread or just plain exhausted? Rate your own emotional response to this imagined situation on a scale of 0 to 10.

Take a deep breath, and let’s begin by Tapping 3 times on the Karate Chop point:

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though it’s always so stressful trying to anticipate my child’s anxiety, I love myself and accept how I feel.

Eyebrow: All this stress
Side of Eye: All this energy
Under Eye: Always trying to protect my child from their anxiety
Under Nose: Always anticipating challenges they’ll face
Under Mouth: All this anxiety about trying to protect them
Collarbone: It’s exhausting sometimes
Under Arm: So much anxiety about their anxiety
Top of Head: It takes so much energy

Eyebrow: So much anxiety about my child’s anxiety
Side of Eye: It’s exhausting
Under Eye: So much anxiety
Under Nose: Letting myself feel it now
Under Mouth: And letting it all go
Collarbone: Letting myself feel it now
Under Arm: And letting it all go
Top of Head: I can release this stress from my mind and body

Eyebrow: I can trust that it will all work out
Side of Eye: It’s so stressful sometimes
Under Eye: But I can let that stress go now
Under Nose: Releasing this stress from my mind and body now
Under Mouth: Letting myself relax
Collarbone: Feeling quiet and calm
Under Arm: Allowing my mind and body to relax fully now
Top of Head: Feeling peace in mind and body now

Take another deep breath, and rate the stress you feel about your child’s anxiety on a scale of 0 to 10. Continue Tapping until you get the desired relief.

Now that you’ve had a Tapping experience, let’s look at how to use Tapping with your child on their anxiety disorder.

Note: As always, when Tapping with your child, tailor your words to your child’s age and experience.

You can find these tapping diagrams, along with many other free resources, by visiting our collection of parent and teacher items here.

 

Child Tapping: Overcoming Social Anxiety

It’s best to tap on specific situations or scenarios, so choose a social situation or scenario that your child can imagine or remember.

Next, ask your child to rate how anxious—or icky, nervous etc.—they feel when they think of it, either on a scale of 0 to 10 or by extending their arms wide apart, showing their anxiety on a “this much” scale (use this if your child is not yet able to understand the concept of a 0 to 10 scale). They can hold their arms far apart to show a larger number, or “very” nervous, or hands closer together to show “less” nervous.

Then begin Tapping:

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I feel nervous when I think about <situation here>, I’m great!

Eyebrow: So nervous/anxious
Side of Eye: I don’t like feeling this way
Under Eye: Makes me feel awful inside
Under Nose: I don’t like it
Under Mouth: What if they don’t like me?
Collarbone: What if they tease me?
Under Arm: So nervous
Top of Head: That’s okay

Eyebrow: I’m great!
Side of Eye: And everything’s okay
Under Eye: I’m great!
Under Nose: I don’t need to worry
Under Mouth: I’m awesome!
Collarbone: People like me
Under Arm: I can relax now
Top of Head: I’m great!

Eyebrow: I can have fun
Side of Eye: I can feel good
Under Eye: I’m great!
Under Nose: And everything’s okay
Under Mouth: I can feel happy inside now
Collarbone: I can feel calm inside now
Under Arm: I’m great!
Top of Head: And everything’s okay

Again have them rate their anxiety on a scale of 0 to 10, or using the “this much” method of measurement. Keep Tapping until they get the desired relief.

 

Can I use Tapping for…?

In The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers  you can learn how Tapping can be used for many of your child’s needs, such as attentiveness, impulsivity, social concerns, and MANY more!

Whether your child, or student, is dealing with common social issues, school-related anxiety, or a specific diagnosis, this book will support you in understanding your role and providing specific tools to encourage success and lifelong achievement.

The best part is that with every purchase of this book, 100% of the proceeds, in perpetuity, will be donated to The Tapping Solution Foundation to continue bringing free EFT Tapping resources to schools and families, and providing trauma relief around the world.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

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Tapping With Teenagers

I want to share a short video with you that shows the power of Tapping with teenagers.

It’s an excerpt from a workshop I did a few years back at a Hay House conference and only 17 minutes long. A couple of things you might want to note about this video:

  • This young lady did something she’s embarrassed about, and we tap on it together WITHOUT her telling me exactly what happened. This is HUGE for teenagers who don’t want to tell adults, parents, teachers, etc. exactly how they feel. You can still work on an issue without talking about it specifically.
  • Humor, in the right moment at the right dose, can be just what we need to help heal.
  • Notice how current events, even for a young teenager, are often built upon earlier childhood traumas.
  • Watch how you can use empowering states and resources to overwrite old traumas.

I hope you enjoy the video and use Tapping with your teenagers! And please share it with those that have teenagers.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Did you had a shift or breakthrough, large or small, while tapping along? Share it below!

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Teens Manage Anger with Tapping

This post contains excerpts from The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

 

Teens Manage Anger with Tapping

Isani had been in the foster system for several years. Angry with his mother, and suffering from neglect at home, even small provocations tended to throw him into a rage. On this particular day the school counselor had been called because Isani’s outbursts were disrupting his 12th grade classroom.

After several minutes spent convincing Isani that he had to come to the counselor’s office to talk, they both sat down. As soon as the counselor asked what had happened, Isani exploded.

Yelling as he told the story, he explained that a classmate had insulted him, and he’d had enough. To make matters worse, he hadn’t slept the night before because something had happened to his grandmother.

As soon as he paused to take a breath, the counselor asked Isani if he’d be willing to do some Tapping. He nodded slightly. He was skeptical, but willing to try it. Since the counselor couldn’t address the numerous issues Isani was facing outside of school, she focused their Tapping on his anger toward the classmate who had triggered him that day.

Within moments, Isani’s anger went from a 10 out of 10 down to a 2 out of 10. The difference in his demeanor was remarkable. Suddenly calm and focused, he recalled the insult from his classmate and shrugged. The emotional charge was so minimal, it barely even registered.

Continued Relief from Tapping

Several weeks later, Isani told the school counselor that he’d been Tapping at night before bed. He was sleeping much more soundly than he had in years, and it was helping him to manage his anger also.

Considering how much adversity Isani had been facing, it’s incredible that he’s been able to improve his sleep. The physical and emotional benefits of improved sleep alone are enough to change his life. Just as important, he now understands that he has the power to transform his emotions and experiences. That knowledge alone can and will change his life forever.

This story, shared by a high school counselor, is another great example of how useful Tapping is for releasing our most “explosive” emotions.

 

You can find this tapping diagram, along with many other free resources, by visiting our collection of parent and teacher items here.

 

Tapping Script: Releasing Anger (Middle School & High School Ages)

Children & Teens in middle and high school often cling to rebellion. In addition to social pressure and the many other changes they’re navigating, they’re also facing challenges at home. The best thing you as a parent, teacher or counselor can do is to give them an experience of Tapping. For Isani that single experience quickly became a way to self-regulate on a daily basis.

Let’s do some Tapping on helping your child to release anger when it arises. To begin, have him or her rate the intensity of his/her anger on a scale of 0 to 10.

If you can, ask them to take a deep breath. Then begin Tapping:

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I feel all this anger boiling inside me, I’m great and I accept how I feel.

Eyebrow: So much anger
Side of Eye: All this anger inside me
Under Eye: I can feel it in my body
Under Nose: So much anger in me
Under Mouth: It feels bigger than me
Collarbone: Like an explosion that’s about to go off
Under Arm: So much anger in me
Top of Head: I can feel it now

Eyebrow: This big, hot anger in me
Side of Eye: I can feel it in my body now
Under Eye: Feeling this anger now
Under Nose: And letting it go
Under Mouth: Letting myself feel it now
Collarbone: And then letting it go
Under Arm: I can release this anger now
Top of Head: And allow myself to feel calm inside

Eyebrow: I can feel quiet and calm now
Side of Eye: Releasing any leftover anger now
Under Eye: Feeling calm and quiet inside
Under Nose: Feeling calm in my body
Under Mouth: And quiet in my mind
Collarbone: Letting any remaining anger go now
Under Arm: Allowing myself to relax
Top of Head: Feeling peaceful in mind and body now

 

Ask your child to rate his/her anger now on a scale of 0 to 10. Keep Tapping on his/her anger, and any other related issues that came up while Tapping, for as long as s/he is willing, or until s/he gets the desired relief.

 

Quick Tapping Tips:

Tapping is especially powerful in the heat of the moment, when anger (or another emotion) is at its peak. If that’s not possible, ask your child to recall a time when they felt angry.

Use their words whenever you can.

If/when they’re willing, let them do the talking while they tap.

Avoid power struggles by respecting their boundaries, even when that means not Tapping at a time when they may need to.

 

Can I use Tapping for…?

 

 

In The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers  you can read how Tapping can be used for many of your child’s needs, such as anxiety, impulsivity, social concerns, and MANY more!

Whether your child, or student, is dealing with common social issues, school-related anxiety, or a specific diagnosis, this book will support you in understanding your role and providing specific tools to encourage success and lifelong achievement.

The best part is that with every purchase of this book, 100% of the proceeds, in perpetuity, will be donated to The Tapping Solution Foundation to continue bringing free EFT Tapping resources to schools and families, and providing trauma relief around the world.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

 

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Tapping Results

 

The Tapping Solution Foundation provides free resources to communities all over the world, including supporting schools & families, and providing trauma relief.

Read our collection of testimonials from individuals who have benefited from the power of Tapping & the support of our Foundation.



Tapping in Schools

 

“This is the greatest gift as an educator.”

“My name is Gia Nelson and I’ve been using tapping in the classroom for almost 5 years now. The impact it has had on my life, my students lives and even my family, is incredible. Being able to refocus my students, calm anxieties, and help manage students emotions has changed the way I teach and the way kids learn when they are under my care. Some of my students have even been using the technique in everyday life outside the classroom. This is the greatest gift as an educator. I know I’m making a difference in many lives because I see evidence within minutes of tapping in the classroom! Children focus better, feel calmer and safer after we tap. I’ve even noticed they feel more normal, more sympathetic towards each other and themselves. I’m so grateful to have this tool as an educator and as a human!”

Blessings,
Gia Nelson
Upland, California, USA

 

Ms. Gia’s students share about how they use Tapping to persevere and manage their feelings. 


“Tapping has become an invaluable part of our morning routine!”

“I have implemented the tapping solution in my Kindergarten classroom for the last two years. It has made an amazing impact on my young students. The positive effects include:

  • students are willing and able to share their feelings
  • students feel more positive about themselves
  • they are willing to take academic risks and persevere
  • they can concentrate and focus better
  • there is a huge reduction in behavior issues
On days that we do not get to do tapping, I see a huge difference in my students and an increase in behavior problems. The calming and self motivating effects that tapping has are remarkable. I recently asked one of my former students (a child with severe emotional issues) what his favorite part of Kindergarten was and he said, “tapping.” My young students love to tap with me each day, and it has become an invaluable part of our morning routine!”
Lorrie Tine
Kindergarten Teacher
Connecticut
Ms. Tine uses Tapping with her Kindergarten students during a morning meeting. She adapts the process to meet her students where they are that day and acknowledges the feelings of her students, while setting positive intentions for the day. 


“Her fears were gone.”

Lily Flores, the psychologist at the Escuela Integrada in Antigua, used tapping with a shy first grade girl, Velvet, who was experiencing nausea and vomiting as a result of her fears of a recent and local volcanic eruption and of all the suffering from the aftermath in Guatemala. Immediately after the first session of Tapping with Ms. Flores, Velvet’s fear decreased significantly (see picture of her showing with her hand how she was feeling) and according to her mother she stopped suffering from vomiting and nausea completely. After her second session, she reported (using her hands again) that her fears were gone.

 

A note from Ms. Flores about Velvet (English translation below):

 

“A raíz de la erupción del volcán de fuego, una de las secuelas que dejó  a Velvet quien cursa Primero Primaria a pesar que no estuvo directamente en el desastre,  fue afectada emocionalmente, por lo cual se atendió apoyándola con la técnica de Liberación Emocional Tapping, lo cual ha logrado superar el temor que tenia a que la lava llegara a su casa.”

Abrazos.
Atte.  Lily Flores
Escuela Integrada
Antigua, Guatemala

“As a result of the eruption of Fuego volcano, Velvet who is in first grade was suffering emotionally even though she was not in the disaster area. She was treated with the technique of EFT Tapping and was able to overcome the fear of the lava reaching her house.”

Hugs.
Lily Flores
Psychologist, Escuela Integrada
Antigua, Guatemala

 

Velvet draws a picture of the volcano that erupted near her community, creating severe anxiety that manifested in nausea and vomiting.

 

Velvet shows how her anxiety shifted by using her hands, a method commonly used with younger aged children to conceptualize a typical rating scale of 0-10.

 

You can read more about Tapping and how it has impacted Velvet’s school by visiting here.



Tapping for Trauma Relief Worldwide

“Tapping became an important part of my recovery.”

“I was at Route91 in Las Vegas during which the mass shooting took place. Needless to say, my world was changed in those 10 minutes that seemed to last a lifetime. Tapping became an important part of my recovery. It helped me process the mixture of emotions I felt, especially my fear, anger and survivors guilt. My life is forever changed from the experience that day but I’ve committed to focus on my own growth vs traumatic memories from the past. I’m grateful I knew about tapping and made my recovery a priority.”

 

Victoria Scovel
Las Vegas, Nevada

 

Posted on

How to Support Your Kids’ Emotional Health During a Divorce

This post contains excerpts from The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

 

Processing Emotions Through Tapping

Managing the emotional upheaval and stress of divorce is especially overwhelming when you’re also trying to support your children through the transition. While you may feel stressed by the many logistical, financial, practical and emotional issues you’re facing, your children may simultaneously be struggling with their own conflicting emotions. The stress that results can make daily life enormously challenging.

Given what a widespread and complex topic divorce is for parents and children alike, The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers takes a look at several stories of how parents have used Tapping on themselves, and then introduced Tapping to children as a way to process and release their many emotions. I urge you to read this book if you’re working through divorce in your personal life and would like the tools to support yourself and your family.

To begin, let’s take a look at how you, as a parent, can use Tapping to move through the process with more ease and grace.

 

Announcing Separation/Divorce

After Marta and her husband finalized their decision to separate, she knew it was time to share the difficult news with their 3 children. Their dad would move out of the house soon, and the children needed to know what was happening. On the afternoon when she’d planned to give them the news, however, Marta felt so anxious that she began to feel physically ill.

Recognizing that she needed to calm herself first, Marta closed the door to her room and began Tapping on her panic and nausea, as well as her fear and worry about how her kids would react. She also did some Tapping on a seizing pain she was feeling in her back, along with her intermittent dizziness and a swelling sensation in her throat.

Once her panic as well as her emotional and physical symptoms had subsided, she felt calm enough to begin thinking about what she would say to her children. As she continued Tapping through the points, she practiced what she would say, how she would say it, and in what order. She also tapped on the anxiety she was feeling about the questions they might ask her, and whether they would blame her for the separation.

An hour later, Marta emerged from her room feeling relatively calm and confident. She then sat down with her children and gently shared the news with understanding and compassion. To her surprise, she didn’t feel overwhelmed by her own emotions. Instead, she was able to be present for them during these difficult moments. She listened to them speak, soothed them as they cried, and was able to support them in every way she could without feeling any emotional backlash of her own.

Thanks to Tapping, Marta was able to give her children what they most needed—her full presence.

Let’s take a look at how you, too, can use Tapping to feel calmer and more present when you share the news of your divorce with your kids, as well as family and friends.

 

Adult Tapping: Announcing Divorce

To begin, find a quiet space where you will be uninterrupted, and take 3 deep breaths. Focus your attention on sharing the news of your divorce with your children.

As you think about it, do a mental scan of your body, and notice how different parts of your body feel. Is your stomach queasy? Do you feel pain, tightness or clenching anywhere? Do you feel hot or cold anywhere? Any numbness? Try to notice everything you feel in your body.

On an emotional level, what do you feel most intensely—anxiety, dread, anger, fear?

Put all of these together—your emotions and any sensations you feel in your body. How overwhelming does it all feel? Give it a number on a scale of 0 to 10.

Take a deep breath and begin by Tapping 3 times on the Karate Chop point.

 

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I feel all this overwhelm in my body, heart, and mind, I love myself and accept how I feel.

Eyebrow: So overwhelmed
Side of Eye: I can feel it in my body
Under Eye: I can feel it in my heart
Under Nose: All this overwhelm
Under Mouth: I don’t think I can tell them
Collarbone: I don’t think I can share this news
Under Arm: So painful to think about
Top of Head: All this overwhelm

Eyebrow: I feel it in my body
Side of Eye: And in my emotions
Under Eye: I can let myself feel it now
Under Nose: I’m not sure I can tell my kids about the divorce
Under Mouth: It’s too painful
Collarbone: What if they hate me for it?
Under Arm: Our lives will never be the same
Top of Head: So much overwhelm

Eyebrow: It’s okay to feel it now
Side of Eye: Letting myself feel all this overwhelm now
Under Eye: The queasiness in my stomach
Under Nose: The pounding in my head
Under Mouth: I can let myself feel it all now
Collarbone: And I can let it go
Under Arm: I can release this overwhelm
Top of Head: Letting it go now from every cell in my body

 

Take a deep breath, and notice how overwhelmed you feel now when you think about telling your children about the divorce. Give this feeling a rating of 0-10. Has it decreased? Tune into your body and notice any change that’s happened. You may feel you need to keep Tapping in order to get the desired relief. Pay attention to what your mind and body are telling you.

 

You can download this child-friendly Tapping diagram, along with many other free resources, here. 

 

Releasing Confusion Around Mommy vs. Daddy

When Kimberly first learned about her parents’ divorce, she had insisted she only wanted to be with her dad. Later, however, she changed her mind, and announced that she only wanted to be with her mom, Deanna.

Recognizing Kimberly’s confusion, her mom asked her if she could tap on her one day. When Kimberly nodded yes, she began Tapping through the points on Kimberly while saying, “I really want to be with Mommy” and then, “I really want to be with Daddy,” and later, “I’m so confused. I love Mommy and Daddy!” After a couple of rounds, Kimberly nodded, acknowledging the confusion that she was feeling.

A couple of weeks later, Dad came to visit and to pick her up. Overwhelmed by his presence, Kimberly initially threw a fit, exclaiming that she didn’t want to leave her mommy. Deanna quietly accompanied Kimberly to her bedroom, telling her ex that they’d quickly finish getting ready.

In the privacy of Kimberly’s room, Deanna asked her if she could tap on her.

Kimberly nodded yes. Deanna then began Tapping through the points on Kimberly as she voiced her daughter’s confusion again. This time, she tailored her Tapping to what was happening at that moment, using phrases like “I really want to stay with Mommy” and “I also want to go with Daddy.” After one round of Tapping, Kimberly smiled her biggest smile, and ran out of the room toward her father. “I’m ready! Bye, Mom. See you later!” she exclaimed excitedly.

I love this story because it’s such a powerful example of how Tapping can cut through the emotional fog and allow kids, as well as parents, to release the emotions they’re feeling. While sharing this story, Deanna, who participated in my Parents Group program, noted that she’d been using Tapping on herself, as well. Tapping had allowed her to be present for her children in challenging moments like these, even though she herself was managing a long list of competing priorities.

 

Child Tapping: Releasing Confusion Around Mommy vs. Daddy

Since divorce divides Mom and Dad into two different “camps,” younger as well as older children may experience confusion around needing to “choose” a parent. That confusion may also create a tendency to blame one parent more than the other for the divorce. Let’s look at how to use Tapping to work through that confusion.

Reminder: Be sure to do your own Tapping first, since it’s important to respect and honor how your child is feeling, even when their emotions are upsetting to you.

You can download this child-friendly Tapping diagram, along with many other free resources, here. 

Have your child rate his/her confusion on a scale of 0 to 10, or using the “this much” method of measurement. If your child is not yet able to understand the concept of a 0 to 10 scale, the “this much” method of measurement can be done by extending their arms wide apart, showing their feeling with how far apart their arms are. They can hold their arms far apart to show strong emotion, and closer together to show less severity of the emotion.

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I feel confused about the divorce and feel like I need to choose between Mommy and Daddy, I’m a great kid and I’m okay.

Eyebrow: I want to be with Mom
Side of Eye: I want to be with Dad
Under Eye: I want to be with Mom & Dad
Under Nose: I don’t like this divorce
Under Mouth: I’m so confused
Collarbone: I love Mommy
Under Arm: And I love Daddy
Top of Head: I don’t understand this

Eyebrow: I love Mom
Side of Eye: And I love Dad, too
Under Eye: I don’t like this divorce
Under Nose: It’s so confusing
Under Mouth: That’s okay
Collarbone: I don’t have to choose
Under Arm: I can keep loving Mom
Top of Head: And keep loving Dad, too

Eyebrow: Sometimes I can spend time with Dad
Side of Eye: And other times with Mom
Under Eye: I don’t have to choose
Under Nose: I can love Mom and Dad
Under Mouth: Things are going to be different
Collarbone: It makes me feel sad
Under Arm: But I’m okay
Top of Head: It’s safe to keep loving Mom and Dad

Have your child take a deep breath and then measure his/her confusion once again. Keep Tapping until s/he gets the desired relief.

Child Tapping: Releasing Blame & Anger over Divorce

If your child is angry and blames you or your ex-spouse for the divorce, ground yourself by Tapping on your own emotional reactions first.

When you’re ready, have your child rate his/her anger and blame, either on a scale of 0 to 10 or using the “this much” method of measurement.

Take a breath and then begin by Tapping 3 times on the Karate Chop point.

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I’m so angry about the divorce, it’s all your fault, and I refuse to forgive you, I’m a great kid and I’m okay.

Eyebrow: So angry
Side of Eye: It’s your fault
Under Eye: Everything’s falling apart
Under Nose: And it’s your fault
Under Mouth: So much anger
Collarbone: I hate this divorce
Under Arm: It feels like my whole world is falling apart
Top of Head: So angry

Eyebrow: I blame you for this
Side of Eye: And I won’t forgive you
Under Eye: It’s your fault
Under Nose: And I’m so angry
Under Mouth: It’s safe to feel this anger
Collarbone: And safe to feel this blame
Under Arm: I can let myself feel it all now
Top of Head: And I can let it go

Eyebrow: All this anger
Side of Eye: All this blame
Under Eye: Letting it all go now
Under Nose: It’s safe to feel this anger and blame
Under Mouth: And safe to let it all go
Collarbone: I can relax and feel safe now
Under Arm: I don’t like this divorce
Top of Head: But I’m a great kid and I’m okay

Take a deep breath and have your child rate the intensity of his/her anger and blame now. Keep Tapping until s/he gets the desired relief. If other emotions arise while Tapping, tap on releasing those as well.

 

Can I use Tapping for…?

In The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers  you can learn more about Tapping for divorce, specifically around anger, sadness, adjusting to a new home, releasing self-blame, accepting a new partner, and more. You can also read how Tapping can be used for many needs, such as anxiety, impulsivity, social concerns, and MANY more!

Whether your child is managing emotions surrounding your divorce, or you’d like to prepare yourself before talking with your child, this book will support you in understanding your role and providing specific tools to encourage healthy processing of this difficult time.

The best part is that with every purchase of this book, 100% of the proceeds, in perpetuity, will be donated to The Tapping Solution Foundation to continue bringing free EFT Tapping resources to schools and families, and providing trauma relief around the world.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

Posted on

Social Emotional Learning Program Includes Tapping

Spotlighting Social & Emotional Learning

“One of the most important recommendations contained in this report is the need to expand social and emotional learning“  writes Governor Sununu of New Hampshire as he shared his School Safety Preparedness Taskforce Report to all school personnel in the state.

New Hampshire has been leading the nation with its redefined extensive focus on Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) in schools. The Governor’s School Safety Preparedness Taskforce Report highlights the significant need for SEL in all schools, specifically an explicit comprehensive program, like the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement (JLCL) program that will be implemented in all of New Hampshire’s schools.

 

The Need for an Effective Program

The JLCL Movement was created by Scarlett Lewis after her son, Jesse, was killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy.  Scarlett created the JLCL Movement, alongside many educators, to establish a free and comprehensive SEL program for all schools. From this the Choose Love Enrichment Program™ was born. It is a no-cost, downloadable, pre-K through 12th grade, evidence-based social and emotional classroom program teaching children how to choose love in any circumstance. The program focuses on four important character values – Courage, Gratitude, Forgiveness and Compassion in Action – which cultivates optimism, resilience and personal responsibility. Included elements are positive psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, character values and more.

To-date, the Choose Love Enrichment Program has been downloaded in all 50 states and Washington DC and over 55 different countries more than 16,000 times by more than 7,600 educators, which is collectively reaching about 1,400,000 students.

 

SEL & Tapping in Schools

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Scarlett for years. She became an avid fan of EFT Tapping when she started using it to overcome the devastating grief and trauma she was experiencing from the loss of her son. While creating the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement, we realized the importance of including a Tapping aspect to the SEL program.  Now teachers can access a free Tapping guide that correlates to the Choose Love SEL program. The Tapping guides are available for early elementary, upper elementary, middle, and high school on the website as a Tapping Extension Program.

 

 The Tapping Solution Foundation has donated over 1,000 books to teachers in New Hampshire. 

 

With the Governor’s report, there is an urge to prioritize SEL in all schools and across all levels. With the Tapping Extension Program and the SEL curriculum, students are learning the skills to manage and cope with their feelings, giving them the opportunity for life-long success academically, emotionally and socially. To find out more information about how to use EFT Tapping in your school, visit our collection of free resources.

 

 

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

 

 

“Programs have emerged that can be a tool for prevention not only for violence, but for addiction, suicide, and the toxic anxiety that has plagued our school children for too long. I’ve had the honor of working with Scarlett Lewis. She is a national leader in social emotional learning and creator of the Choose Love movement. As a state, New Hampshire will provide a backbone of support through Scarlett’s program to introduce social emotional learning curriculum.” – Governor Sununu

 

Posted on

Tapping for Test Anxiety

This post contains excerpts from The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

Tapping for Test Anxiety

Math had always been Naomi’s weak point. A great student in every other subject, Naomi’s math grades had been just barely above the passing mark since elementary school. Now that she was in high school and colleges would be checking her transcripts, her low math grades were becoming a bigger problem.

Given that her math scores had been low for so many years, Naomi’s parents understandably assumed that math simply wasn’t her strong suit. To help her improve, they found her a math tutor, hoping the extra practice would help Naomi perform better, especially on tests.

After working with Naomi, the tutor shared some surprising news. In the comfort of their home, Naomi had successfully completed all of the math exercises the tutor had given her. Rather than lacking skill or knowledge in math, the tutor suggested that Naomi might be suffering from math test anxiety.

Was it really about Math?

Willing to pursue this as a possibility, Naomi’s mother did some Tapping with her on how much she hated math and dreaded math tests. After this general Tapping on her anxiety about math, her mother then asked Naomi if anyone had ever laughed at her in math class. Naomi recalled a time in kindergarten, when she was 5 years old, when the other students had laughed at her for not being able to count to 100. The two of them tapped together on releasing the embarrassment she’d felt at the time. Once they were done releasing the emotional charge of that event, Naomi’s mother told her to go to the bathroom before the next math test and do some Tapping in the stall to calm her anxiety.

As a result of her Tapping, Naomi’s math grades increased by almost 40%. She has since attended a Math & Sciences high school, where she was often called upon to help other students who were struggling in math—and best of all, one day she came home and announced to her mother that math was her favorite subject.

This story was graciously contributed by: www.eft-tapping.learnandenjoy.com

Child Tapping: Releasing Test Anxiety

Is your child facing test anxiety or other anxiety in school? Here is how you can use Tapping to help.

The best place to start with test anxiety is on the anxiety itself. Begin by asking your child to rate his or her test anxiety, on a scale of 0 to 10. A rating of “0” would be a minimal amount of anxiety, or none, and “10” would be the highest. For younger children, you can ask them to show with their arms using the “this much” method of measurement. To do this, your child puts his/her hands together in front of him/her. Hands close together or touching would be minimal amount, and arms open wide would be the greatest amount. This helps young children conceptualize that there can be a range of intensity in a feeling, and that you can help yourself to bring that feeling to a more manageable amount.

You can download this child-friendly Tapping diagram, along with many other free resources, here. 

 

Then begin by Tapping 3 times on the Karate Chop point:

Karate Chop (Repeat 3 times): Even though I’m so anxious about this test, I’m great and everything’s okay.

Eyebrow: So anxious about this test
Side of Eye: What if I mess it up?
Under Eye: So nervous about messing it up
Under Nose: So much anxiety about taking this test
Under Mouth: All this nervousness
Collarbone: I don’t want to take it
Under Arm: This test is making me so anxious
Top of Head: It feels like such a big deal

Eyebrow: So anxious about this test
Side of Eye: Is it such a big deal?
Under Eye: It’s just a test!
Under Nose: I can handle this test
Under Mouth: I don’t have to be so anxious
Collarbone: It’s just a test
Under Arm: I can do this
Top of Head: Releasing this test anxiety now

Eyebrow: I can focus on learning
Side of Eye: And let go of this anxiety
Under Eye: It’s just a test
Under Nose: I can relax and focus on practicing
Under Mouth: Letting go of this anxiety
Collarbone: I’m great!
Under Arm: And I can do this
Top of Head: Relaxing and letting this anxiety go now

Take a deep breath together and check back in with your child on his/her anxiety. Ask him/her to rate the intensity again from 0 to 10, or to show with his/her hands. Keep Tapping until s/he gets the desired relief. It is normal to do multiple rounds of Tapping.

If your child’s test anxiety stems from a past “trigger” event, as was the case for Naomi, ask him or her to tell the story while Tapping through the points. Once s/he can repeat the entire story without experiencing an emotional charge, you know you’ve neutralized that original event.

Can I use Tapping for…?

You can learn more about Naomi’s journey along with many other children, teenagers, and families who used Tapping to manage their everyday stressors in my new book, The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers. Whether your child, or student, is dealing with common social issues, school-related anxiety, or a specific diagnosis, this book will support you in understanding your role and providing specific tools to encourage success and lifelong achievement.

 

The best part is that with every purchase of this book, 100% of the proceeds, in perpetuity, will be donated to The Tapping Solution Foundation to continue bringing free EFT Tapping resources to schools and families, and providing trauma relief around the world.

So if your child is struggling with common worries or school-related anxieties, or is coping with a specific diagnosis, and you’d like to support him/her with a life-changing tool, I urge you to pick up a copy of my book, The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children and Teenagers.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner