Self-Care Habits for Mentally Strong Children

Mental health is a common consideration when it comes to children’s overall well-being, as previous research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that one out of seven U.S. children had a diagnosed mental, behavioral, or developmental disorder. Both mental health and emotional development are fundamental aspects of children’s development, however, psychotherapist Amy Morin notes, “Emotional intelligence is part of mental strength. But mental strength goes beyond emotions and addresses the thoughts and behaviors that affect the overall quality of your life. Mental strength involves developing daily habits that build mental muscle.”

Developing habits that help children cope with the different ramifications that accompany mental health issues is a critical aspect of childhood that also extends into adulthood. As children grow and begin to develop a sense of self, they begin to identify emotions, understand why they happen, and how to manage them appropriately. As children develop, the things that provoke their emotional responses change, as do the strategies they use to manage them. We can guide our children with the following ideas that will foster fruitful self-care tendencies.

Creative Expressions
It’s not always easy to verbalize negative feelings or emotions that are festering within us, especially for children. Journaling can be a great form of release because of its simplicity and versatility. For younger children, provide them with a notebook or coloring book that allows them to switch their focus from negative thoughts to the present moment. Certified art therapist Marygrace Berberian notes, “Coloring definitely has therapeutic potential to reduce anxiety, create focus or bring [about] more mindfulness.”

For older children, encourage them to use a journal to write down their feelings and any questions that may accompany them. Incorporate mental health materials such as discussion guides that provide a list of questions to spark meaningful and informative conversations, which can be especially helpful if your child has an upcoming appointment with a doctor or therapist regarding a mental health diagnosis.

Sensory
Using tools easily available to children gives them the opportunity for continuous success as they create habits of caring for their mental health. Tapping, or EFT, can be used anywhere at anytime, and learned by children as young as 3 years old. Using their hands and voices to Tap on meridian points, children acknowledge their feelings, calm their stress response, and learn to self-manage any issues that arise during the day. By doing so, children become resilient problem-solvers who feel in control of their mind and body, developing their mental strength. This technique provides children and teenagers with the tools to understand and manage emotions, develop social awareness and relationship skills, reduce academic stress, and become resilient learners.

Help your child practice mindfulness – a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. There are many ways to teach your child mindfulness through breathing. Using “mindful breathing” teaches children how to use their breath consciously to change the emotional and biological state of their body. It is important to have a space and set time of day for this practice, allowing it to become an easy-to-use habit of self-care. There is also power in modeling mindful breathing yourself and encouraging little ones with positive affirmations. The interactive children’s book, My Magic Breath by Nick Ortner and Alison Taylor, is also a great tool to teach children how to practice mindfulness and use their breathing to manage any negative feelings, bringing their attention to the present moment.

Exercise
The physical benefits of exercise are well-known, however, the benefits exercise has on mental health are less obvious. Physical activity stimulates the production of endorphins– naturally occurring chemicals in the body that reduce your perception of pain and trigger positive feelings. Exercising regularly can improve overall mental health by reducing stress, decreasing feelings of anxiety and depression, and boosting one’s self-esteem. Children can include exercise into their daily routines effortlessly through activities they already enjoy such as biking, swimming, or dancing. As a parent, you can encourage physical activity and show support by engaging in physical activities with your child through simple things like going for a walk around the neighborhood together. Exercise is an easy yet fun way to get outside, become energized and even interact with others.

By instilling self-care habits early in our children’s lives, such as Tapping or mindful breathing,we are providing our children the opportunity to overcome any emotional and mental challenges they may face in a healthy and productive manner.

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner

10 Tips for Teaching Your Kids Mindful Breathing

Just like adults, children will experience the same emotions of stress, anxiety, worry, sadness, anger, fear, etc. as they go about learning and growing.

However, the main difference is that the young developing mind doesn’t always know how to process, release, or properly categorize these emotions. So we need to help them learn, using the right tools and methods.

A lot of these methods are actually pretty easy to teach to our young kids. One of these is Tapping, which I love to use with children because it’s a physical activity that keeps them engaged, while encouraging them to really tune in to their feelings at the same time.

Another technique that is really simple and powerful is learning how to breathe mindfully. Now, we all know how to breathe, and our bodies do it naturally without us having to think about it.

But “mindful” breathing is a little bit different because it pairs our breathing with our conscious thoughts and imagination. Just through the proper use of our breath, we can change both the emotional and biological states of our bodies. It’s super-easy to learn, but simply just isn’t taught very much in Western culture.

Teaching kids how to breathe mindfully to let go of stress and their bad feelings is the inspiration behind my newest children’s book called “My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing”. So be sure to pick up a copy!

But in addition, I wanted to add some other helpful tips to go along with the book itself that will help your child learn the technique of mindful breathing. Here’s a short list to get you started!

1. Set aside some time every day

Children are very accustomed to doing things every day on a routine schedule, starting from their days as an infant. Feeding time, nap time, play time, school time, reading time, quiet time, etc.

So by designating a specific time every day to practice “breathing time”, your kids will get into a habit of practicing it.

2. Have a special “breathing space”

Similar to above, children associate their environment with specific activities. The crib is for sleeping, the changing table is for changing diapers, the high chair is for eating, the potty is for using the bathroom, the rocking chair is for feeding, and so on.

For making a space for your kids to practice breathing, it should be quiet, comfortable, and relaxing. A big fluffy pillow, a furry soft blanket, a colorful corner of their room, or a cozy sitting chair works great.

3. Make it fun

We all know how quickly developing new habits fizzle out when they seem like hard work. And for children especially, you want to make sure that learning how to breathe mindfully is fun! The goal is to make it relaxing and enjoyable, not just another chore. 🙂

4. Practice it yourself

Children learn by mimicking those around them, so why not set a good example? As a parent, teacher, or anyone who works closely with kids, using mindful breathing techniques yourself to release stress and other built up emotions won’t just provide a good example to follow,  it will also do wonders for your own relaxation too. 🙂

5. Ask your kids better questions

A part of mindful breathing is actually focusing on those negative emotions you want to release, while bringing in those positive emotions you’d like to feel. So for children, a big part of that is asking them the right questions.

For example, instead of asking, “How was your day today?” try asking more questions like, “What was the most exciting part of your day? Is there one thing that made you feel sad or angry today? When that bad thing happened, how did it make you feel? If you could change one thing today that would make you feel better, what would it be?”

Questions like these will not only encourage them to identify the parts of their day to practice mindful breathing with, it will also help to develop your child’s emotional intelligence, communication skills, self-esteem, and adaptability.

6. Include some props

To add to the fun of teaching children how to breathe mindfully, include things like pinwheels, bubbles, wind chimes, or a stuffed animal “breathing buddy” they can practice with. Adding in sensory stimuli (sounds, colors, movement, touch, etc.) helps to associate the practice of mindful breathing with making things change.

Just like blowing on a pinwheel or blowing bubbles will make them move or float away, the same thing will happen with their bad emotions on the inside.

7. Offer some positive incentives

There will probably be days when it will be difficult to help your child to practice mindful breathing, so sometimes offering a positive reward like their favorite piece of fruit or extra playtime before bed will do the trick!

Avoid doing this too often, however, because you don’t want to create the habit of substituting the outer reward for the inner reward of having them feel better. That’s the true prize.

8. Have your kids measure their feelings before and after breathing

Just like we do with Tapping, you can have your kids measure their feelings before and after the breathing exercise. If they are feeling sad, ask them on a scale of 1-10 how sad they feel.

Or if they don’t know numbers yet, have them measure with their hands. Holding their arms out wide will be really sad, while bringing their hands close together means less sad. And, of course, make sure to have them measure their happy feelings too! 🙂

9. Give lots of encouragement

Everyone thrives on encouragement, especially children! Let them know they’re doing great, even if it takes some time to get into the habit of mindful breathing. Every step is a positive one, and every stumble is a learning experience. This mindset alone is the basis for many self-help books and a highly recognized success principle.

10. Pick up a copy of my book, My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing

Books are a wonderful way to teach children how to do lots of things, and I just love writing children’s books. My newest one, called “My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing” was created just for this purpose.

With co-author Alison Taylor and beautifully illustrated by Michelle Polizzi, this picture book will help your child find a sense of calm through the magic of mindful breathing.

 

I hope this list is helpful to you! Pick up a copy of my book here and practice the tips above to begin teaching the wonderful skill of mindful breathing with you children!

If you’d like a downloadable infographic of the 10 tips above, you can find that here, designed for us courtesy of Venngage. 🙂

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner


Here are some other children’s resources that you can also explore:

Bring Tapping to Your School
Tapping for Kids Video – YouTube
The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children & Teenagers
Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs: A Tapping Solution Children’s Story
The Big Book of Hugs: A Barkley the Bear Story

Tapping for Parents, Children, and Teenagers

With the release of my newest book, My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing, I realized just how large our library of Tapping resources for parents, children, and teens has grown over the years.

While we have no intentions of stopping here, I thought it would be great to start compiling a resource list in one place so that you can easily find what you’re looking for when it comes to Tapping with youngsters. 🙂

So here you go! We’ll continue adding to this list as new content becomes available.

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Books

My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing

My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing

The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children & Teenagers

The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children & Teenagers

Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs: A Tapping Solution Children’s Story

Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs: A Tapping Solution Children’s Story

The Big Book of Hugs: A Barkley the Bear Story

The Big Book of Hugs: A Barkley the Bear Story

The Tapping Solution for Teenage Girls

The Tapping Solution for Teenage Girls

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Websites

The Tapping Solution Foundation

The Tapping Solution Foundation

Tapping for Teachers Facebook Group

Tapping for Teachers Facebook Group

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Multimedia

Tapping for Kids Video (YouTube)

Tapping for Kids Video (Facebook)

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Tapping for Kids Video (YouTube)

Tapping for Kids Video (Facebook)

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Tapping for Kids Video (YouTube)

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Resources

Tapping in Schools Quickstart Guide

Tapping in Schools Quickstart Guide

How to Bring Tapping to Your School

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner


Have any of these resources been helpful to you? I’d love to hear your comments!

How to Be Mindful of Young Minds

You can teach children how to breathe mindfully to let go of bad feelings and encourage happy ones!

When we get a bruise or a scratch on our bodies, we are typically very certain that it will heal with time, because that’s what the body is designed to do. And because we can actually see it happen, we become very familiar with the healing process.

For young children, we even go out of our way to ensure that everything will be alright after a tumble or a scrape. We offer added attention, we pour on the encouragement, we kiss the boo-boo, and we bandage up the injury with care.

But what about the emotional stings and wounds that we can’t see? Don’t they deserve as much attention as physical ones?

What I’ve experienced time and again when Tapping with clients (and what any academically trained and board-certified psychologist or therapist can confirm) is that a great majority of our adult problems are rooted in unresolved emotional events from our childhoods.

That’s because the child’s mind is very much influenced by their immediate environment and can’t always correctly process the events that take place. Something simple like an embarrassing moment at school can be misinterpreted as “dangerous”.

Feelings of anger, stress, sadness, fear, or loneliness can remain with the child for long periods of time if not properly released.

Whether they are big or small, we all have emotional wounds. But what if we were able to teach our kids how to properly take care of them and heal them when they happened, so that they wouldn’t be carried into their adult lives?

Healing the emotional wounds of our children

The good news is that there ARE tools we can teach our children, and they need nothing more than what our bodies are already equipped with.

One of these tools is Tapping, of course. And we are building quite a library of resources to help kids learn how to tap. You can find a few of those at the bottom of this post.

Another tool that every single living human on the planet has is our breath.

Yes, that’s right, simply breathing in a certain way can help to reduce and even eliminate many of the negative emotions kids can experience.

Mindful breathing has been practiced for thousands of years, and is a core component of most meditation practices.

It’s also the focus of my newest children’s book, “My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing”.

With co-author Alison Taylor and beautifully illustrated by Michelle Polizzi, this picture book will help children to find a sense of calm through the magic of breathing.

Whether read and practiced during story time, or even as a bed-time story to help your kids relax for a more peaceful sleep, this book is a wonderful tool to have on hand.

In a fun and interactive way, “My Magic Breath” will teach youngsters how to use their breathing to make themselves feel better. And the more we can help kids release their negative emotions and stress, the better off they’ll be as they grow into adults!

Until next time,

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner


Here are some other children’s resources that you can also explore:

Bring Tapping to Your School
Tapping for Kids Video – YouTube
The Tapping Solution for Parents, Children & Teenagers
Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs: A Tapping Solution Children’s Story
The Big Book of Hugs: A Barkley the Bear Story

The Tapping Solution Foundation Partners with GRACES to Bring Tapping to Children in Guatemala

The Tapping Solution Foundation recently visited Antigua (the ancient capital of Guatemala, now a bustling colonial city) to teach and promote the use of EFT Tapping in the classroom. We visited the “Escuela Integrada de Niños Trabajadores”, a private school dedicated to serving the children of several communities around Antigua. These are children who live in extreme poverty and who, were it not for the efforts of the school, would probably be out working at a very tender age.

The school had learned about EFT Tapping through the outreach efforts of The Tapping Solution. They realized the value of implementing this technique for school children and reached out for help in implementing a program locally. Dr. Maria Laura Ortner, Director of Global Outreach for the Tapping Solution Foundation, replied and, over the course of several months, met over Skype with both their school psychologist and their school counselor, teaching them and guiding them on how to best use tapping with the children. Delighted with the initial results, we eventually traveled to Antigua and spent three days teaching the tapping techniques to the schoolchildren, as well as to their teachers, school staff and parents.

We visited each of the classrooms, grades K through 9, for a full period, adapting the presentations to each age level. The results were amazing! The children were avid learners, and were particularly entertained by the animal associations to the tapping points described in Alex Ortner’s book “Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs.”

Most of these young boys and girls have been severely traumatized in their infancy, through poverty, malnutrition, and in general very poor living conditions. The tapping techniques work extremely well to relieve them of these emotional burdens, and to give them a sense of self-worth. One of the teachers at the school, Sandra Flores, told us about Daniel, a 16-year-old boy who goes to a night school at which she also teaches. It is a school for adolescents and adults to complete their primary education. She told us that Daniel has nervous ticks, and often gets anxious and stressed; she did some Tapping with him, and the next day Daniel came to her and wanted to learn more, because he said it had really helped him. And they even did it in Kaquikel, one of the local Mayan languages!

We also gathered with all the teachers at the Escuela Integrada, to discuss the benefits of EFT, some of its subtleties, how best to use it with children, etc., and gave a full presentation to a large group of parents, perhaps 50 or 60, many of whom came from quite far to attend. The receptiveness at the Escuela Integrada was amazing! The children loved it, and the teachers and staff, seeing the immediate positive effects it had, bought into the concept wholeheartedly.

At the conclusion of our stay, the school also organized a workshop where we were able to introduce the technique to other community members from Antigua and the surrounding area, including psychologists, teachers, and social workers, among others. 95 people attended, with most of them paying an entrance fee that went to the school as part of their fundraising. It was a roaring success!

The Escuela Integrada is supported 100% by GRACES, a US-based charitable organization. The country of Guatemala has a very limited public school system, so these children whose families, for the most part, live in abject poverty, would otherwise probably remain uneducated. In addition to the schooling, they provide the children with two nutritious meals per day, counseling to the parents, water filters for their homes, as the water quality in the area is very poor, and food and domestic supplies to many of the families. They even organize volunteer teams who come from the USA to help with building homes and other necessities. The work they do is quite amazing and is without a doubt making a huge impact in the lives of these people. Visit their website at WeAreGraces.org.

For more information on The Tapping Solution Foundation, a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization, and on how you too can implement Tapping in your schools, visit their website at TappingSolutionFoundation.org or contact us at info@tappingsolutionfoundation.org.


Dr. Ortner is teaching EFT Tapping to a kindergarten class in the Escuela de Niños Trabajadores in Antigua, Guatemala. The kids had fun and loved it!


Approximately 100 people attended this Tapping event in Antigua, Guatemala. Dr. Ortner held a Tapping Workshop for teachers, therapists, psychologists, social workers, police officers, and government officials.

Update from 2020:

While most of the world is working virtually, we are continuing to support these efforts through virtual resources as well.

Dr. Maria Ortner has supported the counselors in la Escuela Integrada on a regular basis since her last visit. Guatemala is experiencing difficulties and challenges with the Pandemic because of the lack of tourism happening right now. One of their main incomes as a country is tourism. Community members and health providers from Guatemala participated in a Zoom workshop on Tapping led by Dr. Ortner.

 

Kindergarteners at “Escuela Integrada de Niños Trabajadores” Tapping.

 

Until next time…

Keep Tapping!

Nick Ortner